Strength to continue on.

It’s difficult to write this. I want so badly to be writing something different. I want to be writing all about our preparations for travel, our excitement, anxiety, anticipation, joy, and fear all bundled in the unknown of what surgery for Alex and life after surgery will be.

Instead I am writing to ask you to pray very specifically that we can get over this next hurdle. We have now confirmed that the Insurance battle we were waiting to have go through has officially been put on hold and another battle must be fought first. This took us back to where we were months ago and again we wait, again I spend my days making phone calls and sending emails to get information and push for resolution. Her November 11 date has been officially postponed and we will not be getting another date until all of these things are confirmed. When we were given this date we were told we needed to schedule several weeks out because there was one more thing to deal with but that it was pretty simple and wouldn’t be a problem to get done. Unfortunately this was not the case.

We do not understand why this is happening, we do not like there being another delay, we aren’t happy about being pushed back to repeat an earlier battle but we continue for Alex and all of us. The other day one of the older children was having an especially emotional day and when we finally got to real conversation we found that part of this child’s struggle was the emotions associated with all of this with Alex and that this child is just ready for all of this to be behind us. We all feel the same way. We were able as parents to validate these feelings and let our children know they are not alone in how they feel. We are all weary in this journey but we know it will be worth it in the end. It’s difficult sometimes when dealing with the in our face, obvious, situation and challenges with Alex to make sure we are also giving the other five children the space they need to express their own struggles that may not be as obvious.

I was speaking with a friend just today about all of this and as I have shared before I told her that I see this journey so much as the pile of thousands of puzzle pieces all in a mess on the table. Feeling overwhelmed and discouraged by the mess and number of pieces. I told her how I have to stay focused on God having the finished puzzle in his hands, knowing exactly where each piece fits into place and not being confused by any of this. Then she said, “and all you have to do is keep finding one piece at a time to put in place”. This was encouraging to me. Reminding me that it isn’t my job to see the whole puzzle or to work it all at one time. It’s my job to focus on the creator and to keep working toward one piece at a time trusting that the right piece will fit. It might seem silly but it is a very helpful way for me to think through all of this.

This afternoon we told the kids about the surgery delay. Brent has led these discussions each time we have them with the kids and I couldn’t be more thankful for his leadership and who he is as a husband and father. He has such a special way of helping guide the conversation and disappointment and helping them all find positives as well as voice their concerns and frustrations.

This girl has been playing with the hammer dulcimer for several months and she and I have been working on following the book we have and learning together. This was the face she made the first time she successfully played a tune without any mistakes! She was overjoyed. She is somewhat of a perfectionist and is her biggest critique. She hears when she makes a mistake and always wants to continue to try again until she has done it to her standard. This is the video of Alex playing her first tune. she loves playing and this instrument has been very therapeutic to her during this time. https://youtu.be/B50tSppQ9Ls

This evening we had an outdoor worship service with our church family. It was so good for our hearts to spend the evening with our church family, worshiping together.

Please pray that God would continue to give us the strength we need to navigate these uncertainties with Alex’s situation and also to be there for our other children.

This is a video Brent made to help share Alex’s story. Feel free to share with others who are interested in following and praying for her and our family.

https://youtu.be/xut2kgYlO-s