Another surgery setback.

Today it was confirmed that we once again do not know when Alex’s surgery will be. I will try to be as clear as I can be without making this too long and drawn out but there is an agreement that must be signed between the two entities and there has been slow movement, miscommunications, and disagreements over whose form will be the one to be signed, what the format should be, and, and, and. I am sure I don’t understand all the ins and outs of this but we are struggling with what feels like lack of care for our child from those who are making decisions for her to be able to have this surgery. It was last Thursday night we were emailed that this was a possibility but our conversation Friday was hopeful so we waited. Today was hard because we have been informed that until the Doctor has this form signed and in his hands they will not be able to give us a new surgery date. After the last battle was finished they thought this part would be no problem because it typically is not a problem. They just cannot keep holding dates for her waiting for insurance to come through with what they need to do. We have been told that once the form is in their hands we will be given next available and that it could possibly be November 11 if it goes through very quickly but there is no guarantee of that. We have not told our children this yet because we are holding out hope that the form will be signed and gotten to the doctor before the date is filled but only time will tell.

Thursday night after receiving that email I sat and prayed and cried and journaled. Here is part of what I wrote. “Right now I want to give up. As I sit here in the dark, quiet night I want to quit. It is too much for me, it is too heavy, it is too hard. But then I see the sweet smile of my little daughter who sees nothing but hope in her future and a God who has got it, and I am reminded to trust. So instead of giving up, instead of quitting, I pray that my Heavenly Father give me the strength to continue on, the wisdom to guide my children even when it doesn’t make sense, and courage to face whatever is next.” I then wrote this prayer, “God you are faithful, God you are good. God you love us more than we can truly comprehend. I pray now with the faith that my child has when she prays thanking you that she will walk again, thanking you for her doctors and surgery when they happen, believing it will be. Thank you for her surgery, thank you that Alex will walk again, thank you for what you have already set into motion. Thank you for loving us enough to give us what we need and not necessarily what we think we want. Forgive me for my lack of trust and faith. Lord, help me believe.”

From a human perspective this is a very difficult season for our family but we will continue trying to trust more completely and going together to lay our burdens at the foot of the cross.

---

Now for the family fun update!! Never have I ever seen this boy sit so still!!

After months of pretty constant work on Brent’s part and with the help of many friends and family we have finished the major projects on our home. The rooms are all completed and I have cleaned and purged each room. We love all the things he has done. We had our first dinner around the dining room table with guests last week and that was really special. Alex can give herself a shower in her new bathroom and get herself outside to play without having to ask for help with the doors and moving chairs so she can get around. So much to be thankful for with this. All summer the kids have been asking when we could go camping and we had not taken the time to do that because we were feeling a push to make sure these things were done before Alex’s surgery. With it now done we took a family camping trip along with some dear friends. It was a sweet weekend and the weather was perfect.

We took back roads to the campground and found a trailer on the side of the road with a cash box and a sign reading pumpkins for sale. We stopped and enjoyed looking over all the pumpkins and choosing this years perfect jack o lantern pumpkins. It has become tradition to make our jack o lanterns at our fall camping trip. Part of the tradition is the random hunt for the pumpkins. We never have a plan or a place in mind to stop when we head to the campground so it’s always an adventure and we have fun remembering previous year stops.

This year was Davy Crocket campground in Crossville. It is a small private campground. We went fishing, built sand castles, played four square, hiked, played in the woods, and of course played games by the fire.

Our neighbors at the campground came over and decided we needed to set out cups and everyone should come by and vote. Lots of campers came over to cast their vote and by the end of the night LaRue’s star filled pumpkin was the winner. All had a big time. We always meet great people when we are camping.

We covet your prayers as we continue this journey with Alex.